Navigating Diet Talk and Comments About Your Body
Navigating social gatherings and reconnecting with loved ones can be incredibly rewarding, but for many, it also brings about a wave of anxiety, especially when conversations turn towards diet talk or body image discussions. This can be particularly challenging for those in recovery from eating disorders or grappling with body image issues. The pressure and expectation to conform to societal norms surrounding food, weight, and appearance can dampen what should be joyful moments.
In these situations, having a strategy to manage and redirect such conversations can be empowering and crucial for maintaining mental well-being. Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you navigate through diet talk gracefully, while asserting your boundaries and focusing on what matters most to you.
Understanding Your Boundaries
Firstly, it’s essential to recognize that you have every right to set boundaries around conversations that impact your mental health. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you choose to redirect or avoid certain topics. Your well-being should always take priority!
Helpful responses can include anything from speaking up, advocating, gently correcting, questioning, sharing, ignoring, and even walking away. You are allowed (and encouraged!!) to pick and choose your battles. Every situation and group of people varies, along with your own mood and energy levels. In other words, some days you just won’t have the energy to do anything but walk away. And that my friend, is A-okay.
Also, you are not expected to change anyone’s mind about diet talk. In fact, that’s not your responsibility at all. The only goal here is setting a boundary and focusing on what’s in your control. It can ease a lot of anxiety to have some of these responses in your back pocket.
Examples for what to say at the dinner table
“I promise there are far more important and interesting topics to discuss than this. Aunt Susan, tell us about your recent trip to Italy!”
“I am really excited to be enjoying this delicious food with all of you and would love if we could refrain from any kind of diet-talk, especially when we’re eating!”
“Let’s not comment on each other’s bodies, please.”
“Did you know that casual diet-related comments like that are a leading cause in eating disorders? Weird, right? We should keep those off limits just in case.”
“I used to think that way too until I found intuitive eating. Have you heard of it?"
“If I’m ever in need of solicited advice on my appearance, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
“I’m happy with what’s on my plate; it all looks delicious! I’ll definitely get more food if I’m feeling hungry again later.”
Examples for what to say at a party
“I’m so excited to see you! Let’s talk about anything other than diets – it’s a party – we’re supposed to be having fun, and from my experience diets are quite the opposite of fun!”
“This has been really nice catching up. I’m going to excuse myself and head over to some others I haven’t had a chance to catch up with yet. Enjoy the rest of your night!”
“Woah! Body talk is off limits at this party!”
“That’s actually a topic I’m trying to stay away from for my mental health. I have lots of other topics we can try instead, though! What do you think of Taylor’s new album??"
“Are we really talking about people’s bodies over here? Lame.”
“The only reason you’d be “bad” for eating that is if you stole it, silly!”
"Who wants to play a game?! Race you to the backyard!"
Examples for what to say at work
“I see no problem with enjoying ourselves and eating things that taste delicious!”
“I noticed you tend to compliment my appearance only when I’m wearing things that are slimming. I’m sure your intentions are positive, but I would really appreciate if you didn’t mention my appearance moving forward.”
“Rebecca! Those chocolate chip cookies you brought in tasted incredible. Do you mind sharing the recipe?”
“How have things been? Do you have any big projects you’re working on?”
“This is an uncomfortable topic for the workplace.”
“My only food rule is that I stay away from food that’s been poisoned!”
“Last I checked, we're at work, and making comments about someone's appearance like that isn't appropriate."
Examples for what to say with friends
“I know I used to compliment you on your appearance and I want you to know I’ve learned a lot about why that’s actually harmful. So from now on I’m working on giving non-appearance based compliments and practicing my gratitude in a new way that feels more important to me.”
“Let’s talk about something else - anything else!”
“Yeah, I’m actually not interested in body talk anymore. I’ve realized how stressed and self-conscious it makes me, so it’s something I’m working on, and so far, it’s been a huge relief!”
“I support you and I’m glad to hear that you’re happy. I need some support in return and need you to not talk about your diet or your body with me moving forward. I hope you can understand.”
“Yikes, I actually won’t be participating in this conversation if all you’re doing is tearing apart someone else’s body size. Even if it’s yours.”
“I did not wait this long to see you again to talk about diets or weight loss! Hard pass!”
“I’ve been meaning to show you this picture of my new cat!”
“I know you didn’t just make a comment about my body.”
Examples for what to say to acquaintances or strangers
“I’m sure you mean well but that’s actually a really harmful comment to make. I’d be happy to share some alternatives with you if you’re willing to hear them!”
“I know we just met and I find it to be a great opportunity to share that topics like these are really triggering for me and possibly others in this room so I would feel a whole lot more comfortable if we tried a different way to get to know each other instead!”
“I no longer believe in talking badly about my body or the body of anyone else.”
“I find that I feel much better when I don’t restrict my eating or make any kind of food off-limits.”
“Bodies are meant to change. Good thing too, because if not, we’d all be the size we were at birth and that would be super hard to get around, am I right?”
Eating any certain food doesn’t make me good or bad. If it did, that would be so weird!”
You can do this!
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Practicing self-care includes advocating for your mental health in social settings. It’s okay to prioritize your well-being by choosing when to engage and when to disengage from these conversations.
By modeling healthy behaviors and setting boundaries, you might inspire others to reconsider their own approach to diet and body talk. Your actions can ripple outward, promoting more inclusive and supportive conversations.
Navigating diet and body talk in social settings is about honoring your boundaries while fostering meaningful connections. It’s a journey of self-respect and advocacy for mental health. Armed with these strategies, and with practice, I know that you can confidently navigate conversations and enjoy the company of loved ones without compromising your well-being. Remember, your voice matters, and taking care of yourself is always worth it!
